‘You are what you wear’ – but you just grabbed a random t-shirt. In a world where everything’s a statement, society is turning your outfit into your identity. The stars aren’t judging, but your barista probably is.

TAURUS
‍butter-soft, forest green tee made of bamboo
You’ll wear the same t-shirt five days in a row and call it a lifestyle. Prepare to be asked for your skincare routine and your moon sign. Pretend you know both. 
‍GEMINI
‍“I’M NOT FAKE, I’M MULTIFACETED” slogan tee
You give a TED talk in the group chat, then ghost everyone for 48 hours to reinvent yourself as a DJ. Your t-shirt will make you unreadable, which is exactly the point. 
‍CANCER
‍faded vintage tee that says “Don’t Look At Me” in Comic Sans
This week, you’ll act like you don’t want attention and then be devastated when you don’t get any. Strangers will confide in you for no reason. You’ll pretend not to love it.  
‍LIBRA
‍t-shirt with an airbrushed portrait of yourself, surrounded by doves and roses
You’ll spend 45 minutes curating your outfit because your t-shirt is diplomacy in outfit-form. Someone will fall in love with you mid-compliment. You’ll try to stay humble. You’ll fail. Beautifully. 
‍CAPRICORN
‍plain black tee ironed flat
Your calendar will experience a metaphysical breakdown. You’ll try to restructure time. Someone will thank you for your leadership at a brunch you didn’t know you were hosting. 
‍PISCES
‍oversized tee stolen from an ex, never washed, definitely cursed
You’ll drift into a bookstore and leave with seven zines and no memory of what day it is. This week, someone will hug you and feel a little haunted. You’ll apologize. They say, “Don’t.” Expect epiphanies and tears.

Missing: t-shirt, context-clues, mercy

Did you forget your t-shirt? Are you rebelling? Doesn’t matter. Nowadays even your tee choice is a window to your soul, not wearing one becomes its own spectacle. This week, the stars understand you. Shame no one else does.

ARIES
‍burned your t-shirt in a moment of impulsive rebranding
You’ll enter Monday bare-chested. Someone will ask where your shirt is, you’ll say, “It got in my way.” People will assume you're training for a fight. You're not. You are the fight. 
‍LEO
‍decided to go fully shirtless after staring at yourself in the mirror
This week, strangers will mistake you for a celebrity or cult leader. You’ll correct them, but not immediately. Attention is oxygen. Someone will ask if they can buy you, and honestly? You’ll consider it.  
‍VIRGO
‍cut your tee into perfectly symmetrical dust cloths
You’ll spot a thread out of place and eliminate the entire garment. You’ll be bare, hyper-aware, and quietly panicking. You’ll organise your neighbour’s closet to cope this Sunday.  
‍SCORPIO
‍left your t-shirt behind intentionally, the way you leave most things
Someone will swear you whispered their deepest fear, but you were just asking where the bathroom is. Someone will say they want to “get to know you.” You will laugh. They will not. 
‍SAGITTARIUS
‍exchanged your tee with a stranger mid-hike after a conversation about pasta
Shirtless at sunrise, philosophical by noon, sunburnt by sunset. Someone asks what happened to your top. You say, “I transcended it.” This week, you abandon structure to chase truth, which may or may not be hiding in a tequila bar. 
‍AQUARIUS
‍upcycled your t-shirt into a hat for your conceptual art project
You’ll show up to a brainstorming session in a solar-powered vest and call it “post-fabric.” Everyone will laugh. You weren't joking. Your body is a prototype, and your chest is open source. Let the people interpret.